Tired Mama

Just returned from a visit with friends. Wow I can't do much any more. I'm so glad that I have friends that don't mind when I sit on my butt while they make lunch.

We walked to the park and back and I had to lay down for 20 minutes! It was good exercise, but my belly was so sore and I could have taken a nap.

I find it hard to be so tired and slow when I'm used to being so active. I'm trying to enjoy this time resting and just allowing my baby to grow. I'm trying to just relax knowing that once she comes my life will become even busier.

All I know is that I will be glad to be rid of the meat hens and llamas when she is here. The last thing I need is to have to go out and feed them.

I'm tired...and I'm tired of living in this old farmhouse for now. I'm struggling to see the joy of the country when it requires so much money for upkeep and work to keep clean and looking nice.

I think I'm just tired.

Flip Flop Moody Mama

I am AMAZED how one day I can feel like everything is just too much to handle. How everything is too this or too that and everything and anything makes me want to SCREAAAAAAAM....and the next day???? The next day I am in the BEST MOOD.

Today I must have woken up on the right side of the bed, and nobody pee'd in my cornflakes because I am happy, calm and have plenty of patience. Today I like my kids and love the fact that I can spend the day at the park and the pool. I love my life. Yesterday?? not so much.

So what is the difference?

I think it is a few things.

1) I had a much better sleep
2) I am concentrating on eating real food (fruits, veggies, no 'fake food')
3) I am re hydrated
4) My house is pretty clean and picked up...and organized
5) My kids have been FANTASTIC the last few days wherever we have gone thus reducing my need to justify my parenting abilities.
6) I've been able to sit and chat with girl friends which is ALWAYS a great mood booster for me.
7) The sun is out and on my face....amazing what a little Vitamin D will do.
8) Oh...and it is not toooooo hot and humid outside. In fact I would say the temperature is perfect. (meaning no swollen fat pregnant lady)

I find when I'm moody and cranky I eat WORSE. I resort to eating comfort foods that are higher in salt fat and preservatives. I drink more caffeine to pick myself up, and I hide inside the house and flop around on the sofa.
It is only when I recognize that I'm in a 'mood', FORCE myself to eat something healthy, and get off my butt, go outside and take the time to play with the kids that I feel better.

And because yesterday afternoon and this morning I did just that?? I feel better today.

At least that is what I think. Whatever the reason, I'm just glad I'm having a MUCH better day.

O.K I'm ready to admit it. I'm cranky. Really Really cranky. I just don't have any patience or tolerance for anything right now.
I'm in a good mood if that makes sense. I just have this cloud over me that wants everything to go away.
I want the rain to stop, the sun to not be so hot, the kids to be angels and independent and not get dirty, the sunporch to magically finish itself, the garden to be weeded, the grass to stop being so weedy, the fence to look perfect, the chickens to stop pooping, the bugs to stop nesting in the chicken coops, the laundry to walk itself upstairs, supper to make itself, my homeschooling stuff to be all done and prepared for September, the baby stuff to be bought.....and have enough time left over to go out for dinner with some friends and head to the beach.

Is that too much to ask?

O.K it is.

Fine then. I just want my attitude to reflect joyous miss Sunshine so I can enjoy all of it and so my children realize that deep down I really do love them, and love being around them...Cause right now I just want everyone to go away....but as soon as they do I'll cry because I miss them and feel guilty that I'm sitting on my butt doing nothing.

Sigh......

My Reality

I LOVE this picture. There was a nice one where I am smiling and look nice. I put that one on my other blog. THIS picture captures my REAL mood. My exhausted self that just wanted to crawl into a ball and have a nap. This pictures was my reality.

Resting mommy is a Fit mommy

Woke up this morning with HORRIBLE back pain. I finished doing a thorough cleaning of my entire house over the last two days. As NEEDED as it was and as satisfying as it is to have a fabulously clean house, my poor aching back just feels like snapping in two!

For those of you who may not know, I have a bad back to begin with. It has been 5 years now, but I had a tumor and 3 vertebra removed from my spine. I'm doing AMAZING, but still get back pain if I do too much.

Well 33 weeks pregnant and deep cleaning an old farmhouse with 12 foot ceilings is kind of taxing.

Who needs the YMCA at this point. Seriously. Just accomplishing farm chores and household tasks at this point is all the work out I can handle.

I was smart though. I took 2 days to do it, and rested between rooms. It is also raining out so I'm going to take this opportunity to cuddle and watch a few too many movies this weekend. I hope my girlfriend who is coming to visit does not mind being bored to death.

After all...rest is part of being a Fit Mommy.

33 Week Belly Shot

At the park sipping coffee trying to get rid of the tired in my eyes. No luck so far.

Although I am trying to get my house in order, I am making sure I take the time to enjoy the day and allow my kids to play. Getting this house in order is important, but not as important as taking the time to meet friends at the park and let the kids be kids.

Now to begin the cleaning....

33 weeks

33 Weeks
150 pounds
30 pounds gained.

I have never been past the 154 mark in my life. (keep in mind I'm 5'3'') It looks as though I will surpass it in the next 7 weeks. Ah well. I have to admit that at this point I could not care less. I have had the best pregnancy and feel great. The summer is cool and so I'm not as bloated and miserable as I thought and I still have the cutest clothes to wear.

This baby is a mover and a shaker. She is head down now and her feet constantly dance across my belly. Amazing how each of my 4 pregnancy's have been so different and how their personalities are different from each other even in Utero.

I can't wait to meet you Audrey Anne McNish, but I'm happy to carry you around for as long as you will allow me to.

Just please...please wait until my house is clean. I want to be ready to rest and just lay with you in the sunporch.

Till then....

Mommy

Oh my aching back....

Just Dance

Have I mentioned lately that there is a little human being growing in my belly?
And that she prevents me from tackling even the simplest of tasks lately?
And that she already has the cutest little feet EVER that are dancing across my abdomen at this very moment?
I think she already knows that she can do no wrong. Dance away wee one...Allow me to push on and rub those little feet and hands. Or is that your Bum?? Whatever...Dance on.

Home Again

Hi Everyone. Well..all 13 or so of you. I'm back from Camp and had a wonderful week. The weather was PERFECT for a pregnant lady. Kinda cool with sunny breaks and only a few hours where I swelled up like a balloon.
I was the camp sports director and had to do more planning than 'doing', so I made sure I rested as much as I could.

More than anything, I seriously enjoyed doing only one thing at a time. There were no errands to run, dinner to prepare, chickens to feed, house to clean and pick up. No Internet,t.v, or other distractions. I also did not pick up a 2 year old all week and surprisingly (not really), my back felt great the whole week!!

I have to admit that although the rest time was great, I am DREADING this week at home. I think I'm nesting, because my ENTIRE house seems disorganized and cluttered. I seriously feel the need to chuck things into the garbage and that is not good since it involves BIG things that I cannot do myself.

I am going to enjoy just staying home all week and cleaning, but I have anxiety...I'm not sure why. Am I a good enough house wife? Do I have enough energy to clean my home well enough?? How stupid I know but that is how I feel. I suppose coming home to something ACTUALLY GROWING out of the drain in our sink did not help my domestic confidence.

Have I mentioned that I am also almost 33 weeks and REALLY tired? and that I HATE to clean????

If there is ANY present anyone could get me for this baby ( besides a video camera) is A CLEANING LADY FOR 6 MONTHS!!!!!!! seriously think about it....I won't say no ;)

I'll be 32 weeks and I'm off to Camp!!

Off to Summer camp for a week with my Eldest Daughter. I'm in charge of sports. More directing than doing...Thank Goodness!!
Pray that I get enough rest.

Oh..and I think the baby has turned head down over the past few days. I feel the kicking in a different spot and more pressure vertically.

Mornings are no longer nice.
My back and body are killing me.
Just normal 32 week aches and pains I'm sure.
I need to focus on how fabulous it is to have the baby inside of me.

I need to rest and sleep and float in my mothers pool.

Today

Did not wake up feeling so hot today.
My sleeps are becoming broken again and with Adam working nights this week I don't fall asleep until 11pm and I'm up at 5am.
My belly is also getting bigger, and so I think the baby is squishing my stomach. This morning I feel nauseous. Could be that and the fact that It will be a hot day.

Pool floating may be the only option.....oh poor me ;)

31 Weeks and Dumber than ever

31 weeks today.
145 pounds still.
25 pounds gained.
I predict a total of 155-160 pounds at the end.

My belly still growing like crazy and I have a little kicker inside of me.
I'm slowing down, but I feel pretty great.

I'm LOVING the cool weather and rain.
Sorry folks, but I'll take the hot humid weather next year.
How can I complain about being comfortable?

So since the rain stopped this afternoon and the sun came out, my husband and I decided to play a VERY low key game of pick up soccer with our 4 and 7 year old girls. It was slow. It was fun. It was to help teach them a little more about playing so they could do better in their games.

My husband kicked it to me.
I swung my leg and kicked it to the side towards Lara.

I hurt myself.
Oh boy did I hurt myself.
I guess my ligaments and bones are ummmmm...shifting??

3rd trimester ladies should not try soccer...even with little people.

Ouch.

Man that was stupid.

Fun...but stupid.

30 Week Comfort levels

Oh man. What a HORRIBLE night sleep last night.
You know when you lay there sort of half asleep, half dreaming? You know your body is not moving but you THINK you are awake? And then all of a sudden you see spiders, freak out, get out of bed and realize that you must have been dreaming after all??

And then you constantly wake up with heartburn, legs that are trying hard to cramp up on you, and a bad pain in your lower back?

Well that was my sleep last night.

My only comfort was knowing that before I go to bed tonight my husband will be back from the Ukraine and in the morning I'll have someone to rub my sore back.

I love my pregnancy, but I HATE how I'm sleeping.

I look forward to my morning coffee like it is blood I need to replenish in my veins. I don't know how I would function without it these days. Oh well. Soon enough I'll have a newborn babe in my arms and will be complaining of being woken out of a dead sleep 2-3 times a night...so I'll try to find comfort in the fact that ONCE I'm asleep I stay asleep?????

I'll focus today on just how good my skin looks as well ;)

Canada Day and 30 Weeks Today!

Here are my 30 Week/ Canada Day Belly Shots.

I was dreading doing ANYTHING today. Dreading walking downtown or walking ANYWHERE in the heat with the two kids.
I lucked out because my friend Paula invited us to join her big family bbq. It was perfect. We got to decorate ourselves, eat, roast marshmellows, jump on a trampoline and play with sparklers. I wish the kids could have held out for the fireworks, but at the same time I'm pretty pooped.

My legs are quite swollen and sore tonight so I'm happy to have been able to do SOMETHING for the kids with MINIMAL effort on my part.