shrinking....

I notice my belly getting smaller everyday. Phew!! Week one and I don't THINK I look too pregnant anymore. I still have 20 pounds to lose but like I said before, I will worry about that in a few weeks.

My body is healing well. I do get quite sore in the pelvic region when I've been on my feet a little too much. But what can I do? I have an old farm house and 3 OTHER children to look after. I can't just lie in bed all day. My husband has been wonderful for helping with all the big stuff, but he has his limits as well. I can't expect him to look after all his regular 'chores' as well as my own AND take care of the kids.

So, for now I am just trying to pace myself and rest when necessary. It has been raining for a few days so we have just stayed home and done some fun fall crafts. Really, what more could we ask for? O.K maybe a sunny day soon so we can go for our annual walk in the McNish woods and go apple picking.

Soon enough...soon enough...

The New Baby...and Not so New Body ;)

So...She is Here. My long awaited 4th and final child. For the next year or so this blog will be dedicated to my weight loss/fitness journey back to health. I started this blog after the birth of our third baby and found it a great help to keep me on track. It helps to know that people are watching me and supporting me through this journey.
I also think I do a pretty good job at getting back into shape and enjoy sharing my tips and secrets with whoever is interested in hearing about them.
I also like to be COMPLETELY honest about how HARD IT IS TO GET BACK IN TO SHAPE.
I'm a tiny person but don't hate me. I work hard at it.

At this point I'm just recovering from the birth 3 days ago. I am breastfeeding and just trying to sleep as much as possible. I won't even THINK about starting to exercise before 6 weeks postpartum. My body worked hard growing this baby over the last 10 months and it deserves to rest. I deserve to give myself time to recover and allow my body to sleep, relax, renourish and allow it to lose or hold onto whatever weight it needs to.

Besides...being a FIT MOM means being fit physicaly, mentaly and spirituly fit and I can only do that with rest and proper nourishment at this point.

So that is where I'm at. I'll be changing this blog with starting point pictures and goals over the next few weeks...But only once I've had a few naps.

See you later....

Alyson

Audrey is Here!!!!!

Hello Everyone, I get the opportunity to blog every so often. This time I get to make a breif announcement on Alyson's behalf. Baby Audrey Margaret Anne McNish was born at 7:47 a.m. Tuesday 22 September 2009. She weighed in at 7 pounds 4 ounces, and I have no idea how long she was at birth. The nurse really did not seem to care about length. I am sure that Alyson will post pictures and write about her birthing experience when she returns home.
Take Care, Adam

41weeks,4 days Belly Shot

I had my husband take a picture of me tonight. You never know...this could be the last night EVER that I look in the mirror and see this belly. If I look tired I am. Tired of having 2 days of contractions every time I move. I remember this with Lara. They called it an irritable uterus. No dilation, just contractions. Who knows what is going on.

If I don't have this baby tonight, I go in for an induction Wednesday morning.

I might as well just lay here and enjoy her moving inside of me.

Till then...

False Alarms

I had contractions last night every 2-5 minutes until about 9pm. I got into a bath, lit a candle, drank some tea....and NOTHING.

I went to bed.

10:30pm they came back MUCH stronger and every 10 minutes. They continued throughout the night. I even had bloody show and other goopy stuff. In the middle of the night things stalled AGAIN. I just had STRONG contractions every 30 mins or so.

This morning..NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. ZERO.

This is the same labor I had with my first. Long and drawn out. I certainly did NOT expect this. Once my last two labors started they were OVER in 5 hours or so.

Today I'm tired. Hopefully I won't have to do this for another 24hrs.

having contractions 5 mins apart for about an hour. Could be just the castor oil talking...Or could be labor.

You'll find out by tomorrow morning!!!!

I'll be twittering for the fun of it tonight.....

10am Saturday morning. Just took a concoction of Castor oil, Champagne, Peach juice and almond powder...Bottom up!!

Now I guess I just wait and see???

If you want to follow my uddates follow me on Twitter!!! AlysonMcNish.

More Ranting...because it is better than counting contractions.

Had the biophysical ultrasound today. All is well with baby. At this point they do ultrasounds twice a week to make sure there is enough fluid around the baby, there is a heart rate, there is movement and the baby is making breathing motions. Nearing 42 weeks the chance of stillbirth increases so they like to make sure all is well. Fine with me. Just another chance to see my little monkey before holding her in my arms.

I had discussed with my midwife last night what my options are for the induction. Whether or not I would like another stretch and sweep, whether or not I would want to go to the hospital the night before for the cervical gel, or whether or not I would wait until Wednesday morning.

She knows that I'm pretty leary about doing anything unnatural to induce this labor because of my own impatience or desire to have this baby.

So today she called me to let me know of a few other options she was thinking about. This included using a breast pump (nipple stimulation..kinda weird), homeopathics and finally a castor oil cocktail.

Regardless of what I decide and don't decide I love that I was able to have these conversations over the phone. I love that she cares enough about me and has got to know me so well that she knows my needs and fears. THAT kind of care is something I have NEVER received from any doctor in any type of practice and don't expect to see. Wouldn't it be nice if psychiatrists phoned you at home and asked how you were doing instead of not giving a hoot that you just stopped coming???

What I want to know is...Why don't all the books on pregnancy and birth include the stuff that works? The cocktails and tried true and tested stuff? Like putting menstrual pads in the freezer to help ease discomfort after birth? Or herbal sitz bath recipes that help to heal? Or the lanolin cream idea that helps heal sore cracking nipples?
I was looking through all my free books and pamphlets and old health Canada guide stuff that was given to me at the doctors office and hospital when I delivered my first. Why is none of THAT stuff in there???? Enough about Kegel exercises and how to get my stomach back in tone (can you tell it was written by a man??) ....I want to know what to put in my bath to help heal the tearing!!!!

It makes me sad that this information is out there but we women are deprived of the knowledge. We go into labor thinking that if we breathe correctly it won't hurt as much. We are not told that if we squat to give birth that our pelvis opens another 28%!!!! Are you serious?

Why can't the doctors just say to us that LABOR f...ing hurts BUT WE CAN DO IT!!!!!! Instead all we get is don't gain too much weight, your uterus is measuring normally, and I'll see you in the end when you are ready to push.

O.K so I'm sure SOME of you out there had/have great doctors. Maybe even a few have lucked out and had a female one that GETS IT!! But in general, I would love to write the book, 'DON'T GO THROUGH PREGNANCY AND LABOR WITHOUT ME' It would be chalk full of all the information needed to survive this amazing adventure and come out strong. It would be written by women FOR women. It would be the advice that our grandmothers and mothers never had the chance to give us because they were deprived of the information themselves....and you would not have to go to Chapters to find it. It would be ready handy in the doctors office and health clinics all over Canada.

Because after all...we are growing human beings in our bellies and deserve it.

Rah Rah....

O.K I'm finished. Now I need to run upstairs to try to get my kids to actually listen to me, stop playing around and go to bed...Anyone know of a good book to help with that ??? ;)

Why I see a Midwife....A rant.

As you know I have a midwife. For those of you who don't know what a midwife is or never had one for your babies all I have to say is they are FABULOUS. Well trained, knowledgeable, supportive, comforting, fabulous human beings. Frankly if it was up to me, ALL women would see a midwife FIRST and THEN if complications arise they would be transferred to a doctors care. I just love how the midwives treat pregnancy like a natural part of being human. I love how they call you to make sure everything is well. I love how they come to your house for a visit. I love how they offer you ALL the options so you feel like you are FULLY INFORMED about what is going on and WHY things are done. They give you choice without pressure but still offer sound medical opinion. They are not tree hugging hippie weirdos. O.K some maybe :), but most are women who have been there and done that and have done their homework.

Just a thought to ponder....
Anyway,

As I am officially a week overdue I now have to consider the possibility of induction at 42 weeks. So...off to the Dr's office I went for a consultation because if I were to be induced I would be showing up at the hospital and transferred to a physicians care. The midwife will still be with me and by my side as support and advice and may even be able to still catch the baby n' stuff if all is 'normal' ,but officially I would be the dr's responsibility.

I had my chance to ask the doctor ALL of my questions and I'll be honest...He confirmed to me just how much I REALLY don't want to be induced. Here in our area they do things a little differently than the last place I delivered and was induced. Although I will have ultimate say on what happens and they will not do anything without my consent, I can't imagine this being my first delivery and just going with their procedures. I would be as blindsided and disillusioned as my FIRST delivery.

Without boring everyone with the details, I'll just say that I'm so glad I know what to expect, what will happen and even more glad to know that I have a CHOICE and a SAY as to what will happen to MY BODY and MY BABY.

I'll give you a LITTLE idea of what I am talking about...

After the nurse checked my pee, weighed me and carted me into a tiny cold room she handed me a gown and told me to strip down as the Dr. would want to check my cervix. When I informed her that I did not want nor need him to check me as I was checked by my midwife 2 days prior, had a stretch and sweep and was 2cms dilated and that if I was to go into labor in the next five minutes it would be my MIDWIFE to deliver and not the dr, and that he would not be inducing me until NEXT WEEK and by THEN I'm sure my cervix would be changed and the state of my cervix TODAY is really irrelevant.... She looked at me like I had 3 heads and said....." Then what are you Here for??"
Well my dear I am here for a CONSULT about what to expect NEXT WEEK if I don't go into a labor, to MEET the Dr. who would be delivering the baby and WHAT the procedures are. NOT for a strange man to stick his fingers in my vagina for absolutely no reason whatsoever. K????

Needless to say I did NOT expose my inner privates to a strange man, but I DID get all my questions answered and he was really nice about the hippie midwife loving 10month pregnant lady in his office. Too bad that he will be on vacation next week and I'll probably get some other doctor who does things COMPLETELY different than him.

O.K I'm finished now....

Just keep praying I go into labor NOW and all this can be avoided.

panick of one sort or another

Absolutely nothing happening with my body today. I'm tired as I did not sleep well last night but that is about it.
I had A LOT of pain yesterday but think the stretch and sweep just seriously bruised my cervix. I feel just fine today which is kind of frustrating. O.K it is very frustrating.
Even if my actual due date really is September 11th I am still overdue by at least 5 days. How annoying.

I'm not usually a worrier. In fact I can generally take things in stride. However now instead of panicking about BIRTH, I am panicking about an induction. I want this baby to come when her time is up. NOT because I'm fed up.

I see the doctor tomorrow. He would be the one to induce me on the 23rd. I'm thinking that if the baby and I are healthy I want to wait the FULL 42 weeks before considering taking her out.

I'll let y'all know.

Soon...but no yet

My computer is only allowing me to log onto the Internet when it feels like it so I'll take this opportunity to fill you all in and as quickly as I can before I get kicked off again.....



No baby yet.

Midwife appointment yesterday. She did a stretch and sweep and opened my cervix to 2 cms. I was bleeding last night and passed a blood clot. Midwife came to check me and baby was just fine.

Not bleeding anymore but SUPER gassy and feel quite nauseous today. I am going to try to rest.

My lower back feels pressure and I am crampy but no definite contractions that are painful in any way.

We think my cervix is opening slowly but I'm not in any pain yet. Can't complain about that!!



There IS a possibility that my actual on the day due date is September 11th, making me a week overdue as of Friday the 18th. I have an ultrasound scheduled in Kingston for that day to make sure baby and fluids are doing well. Then another ultrasound on Monday the 21st, and then an Induction has been booked for the 23rd if baby has not yet arrived.



So far these are precautions. Hopefully all will be unnecessary and I will have this baby naturally before then.

It will all be over soon

Had another great overdue day today ;)
Went to church and laughed at peoples reactions when I told them I was due last week.
I had a great nap this afternoon as my husband allowed the girls to tag along with him while he played touch football.

I have to admit the night took a turn for the worse when my husband and I decided to fight over the DUMBNESS thing and at the same time my son decided to poop all over the carpet.

Now I just have to get through one more night with my husband working midnights. Have I told you how much I HATE it when he works midnights when I'm NOT pregnant and overdue??
Oh well. It will all be over soon and I'll get my 2 days rest in the hospital. I'll be honest. I'm really looking forward to the break from my kids for a few days and concentrating on the baby.

Sigh....

Overdue Attitudes

Good morning. 3 days overdue.
I'm determined to enjoy the day today with my kids. Adam had to work a night shift last night which means I've got the kids to myself all day and can't rely on him to help me so I might as well suck it up and put on a happy face.

Last night after putting the kids to bed I just felt crappy. These last few days/weeks/months? have been difficult and emotional for me and I can barely count on my hands the number of times I have laughed with my kids.

I don't want to plug along in life. Keeping the house clean, making supper, doing groceries, bathing them and keeping the kids neat tidy and obedient. Although having a good home is important and having obedient and respectful kids is important I certainly don't want THAT to be how they remember their childhood.

I want them to remember joyful family memories, a mom that took the time to play THEIR game with them, that takes them for ice cream, and that JUST STOPS TO CUDDLE THEM and tells them how special they are. I want to be LOVING. I want to be the one they count on to love them no matter how screwed up they are. I want them to KNOW that I think they are pretty amazing and lately I have been messing up in that category.

I do try to do these things but this pregnancy has been pretty tough on me. As you know I'm a pretty active mom. I LOVE to push my kids on the swings, kick the soccer ball with them, swim with them, go for bike rides and be able to sit on the floor to play a board game with them. Unfortunately when you take that ability away from me it also takes away a big part of the mommy that I am.
I may be wrong, but I FEEL as though I've been plugging along just trying to keep the house tidy and it has been consuming me. I'm tired of being frustrated and angry that I am not the one playing soccer with them. That I am not the one taking them for long walks in the forest. I'm glad they have other people to be there for them when I can't be but it is now MY TURN.

My priorities need to change. My life needs to change. I no longer want the accolades of having a tidy house and nice kids. I would prefer a messier house and happier family.
Is it in me? Can I be THAT mom? I'm not putting pressure on myself. Just evaluating our lives and rearranging priorities. Now is the time while they are young. Now is the time while we are all home together anyway to enjoy our lives and explore. Now is the time to head to the water spread out a blanket and just play in the sand.

Since the Lord seems to think that Audrey needs to stay in my tummy a few more days, I might as well not waste the time given to me. In fact I think it would be an insult to the Lord not to enjoy.

Y'a...Y'a..Still Waiting.

Overdue as always.
There IS a possibility that my ACTUAL due date is September 11th, OR the 14th...Not that you really need to know how I know that ;)

So...really if this silly girl does not come till the 16th then I just may be 2 days over instead of a week.

Whatever. Still sucks waiting and wondering.

I'm completely unable to do anything right now.

Perhaps I should try a tractor ride???

Final Belly Shot. 40 weeks

40 weeks today.
152 pounds.
32 pounds gained.
Same as the last two children.
I'm ready. Ready and excited. O.K not for the whole birthing part, but I'm ready. I don't want to rush it though. Now I just keep waiting for these braxton hicks to become more and more painful.
So far they come and go depending on what I'm doing. I think it is just my body telling me to slow down and rest.
CAN'T be any longer than two weeks now! Right??

I have Plans you know

Today's my 8th Wedding Anniversary. As much as I want this little one to come I do NOT wish to share this day with anyone other than my husband.

So this is MY plan.....Think it will work ?

I will have mild contractions off and on all day and go into labor tonight.
Then the baby will be born at 1am on her due date of 09/09/09.
I don't share my anniversary, and she comes on her super special day.

There. Now if I can only get her to agree with this plan ;)

The Waiting Game

I think it is so funny at my LACK of mobility these last few days. I can barely bend over to feed the chickens without killing my back, do the dishes without soaking my belly, or sweep the floor without becoming out of breath.

I am also becoming quite sore. My back, hips and lower tummy are creaky and achy. I'm loving it though because I know the time is coming. I think it is great that every time my husband looks at me he giggles in amazement at how big my belly has become. Perhaps I'll take a picture today and compare it to my last pregnancies.

I laid in the bath last night (with the cloth stuffed in the drainage thing so I could fill it over my protruding belly) and every time I had a slight pain or braxton hicks I kept thinking...is this it? Tonight? really? O.K. I'm ready!!! let's go! Yay! Are my bags packed? am I really ready? No I'm not ready! One more day! One more day!

I wonder how long I will have to wait...I wonder. TODAY I'm thinking soon. But it is early. There is plenty of time for TODAY to come and GO.

Don't cross your fingers

I suppose at this point in time I should post daily shouldn't I?? I know you are all on pins and needles waiting. I am too but she will come when she will come and I promise to tell you.

Don't get your hopes up though folks. I am counting on Wednesday coming and going, and for this baby to still be here. Besides...Tuesday is my anniversary and so she can either come TODAY, or the 11th. That way my hubby and I can actually go away for our anniversary some day and not miss our child's birthday.

Whatever. I'm sure her birthday will be the perfect day anyway.

39 weeks and ready

39 weeks today and I'm ready. We don't have plans for a few days and I really don't want Adam to have to work midnights the next two nights. My house is also clean and there is enough food in the house for me to disappear to the hospital for a few days.....So anytime now Audrey ;)

Too bad I can't control when she actually decides to come ;(

39 Week Belly Pic

Enjoying an AMAZING end of summer day with the kids and the

fact that I'm still mobile enough to walk the property and notice the caterpillars cocooning on the lilac bushes.