I'm having a bad day today. I'm not sure if it is the lack of sleep due to a teething baby and sick kids. Not sure if it is the lack of sun. I'm not sure if it is the fact that I have 2 weeks to feel good in a bathing suit and HATE the way my stomach feels and looks. Not sure. But what I do know is that when I am feeling this way I get verbal about it and get grumpy.
To not be so grumpy and take it out of people I know I need to do something positive. It is so much easier to drink a coffee (for a fake high), or to eat to stuff down those feelings and feel a sense of 'satisfaction'. In fact the urge to eat is really strong right now. So much so that I know eating a healthy portion size is not easy for me....I want to STUFF MY FACE!!!
The SHITTY part is that last night I lost a little self control and ate TWO sandwiches at like 8pm. (I must not have eaten enough during the day) and so this morning I don't WANT to eat. I want to eat really well. I want to shed the last two pounds or so I need to before the cruise. I want to be able to drink smoothies and brown rice (blech) The problem with that? The problem is that when I focus on what I don't want to do, I want to do it even more.
Want to know something crazy? The fact that I was so grumpy was because I had been up since 530am. I also did not eat my crazy amazing morning greens shake and was hungry. So my brain was grumpy. But grumpy brain wants COMFORT food. not vegetables or shakes.
So what did I do???
I ATE. I put together a nice hearty wrap filled with vegetables and drank a big glass of water. I also reluctantly made myself a shake full of lots of good vegetables. Problem solved. Now I have a full belly full of good stuff. I also have the rest of the day to burn it off. I am less grumpy and feel SO much better. I am also losing the urge to eat the REST of the wraps as I write this (distractions are a good thing sometimes).
What to know something ever crazier??
Because I ate during the day and early I will not be starving, my metabolism is revved up, I have energy for my day, my mood is better AND late tonight I will not crave sugar and thus screw up my entire diet. I will also be able to make better choices come an afternoon snack and dinner. Funny eh? Funny how when you eat at regular intervals you have more self control, are happy and healthier.
So there you have it. Reality of a chick trying to eat well and make good choices. Just keeping it real here. It is not always easy for me. In fact when I am tired it is VERY EASY to slip into old patterns. I'm actually typing this right now to stop from making a coffee.
Life...not always easy but it IS possible to triumph...and now I'm going to leave with the kids and go to the library to stop myself from returning to the kitchen.