For

Sara,Erin,Cathy,Bess,Cheryl.....my five devoted readers, or at least commenters ;)

I am not doing the Marathon anymore. I hurt after one run (my knee) and I am just not ready.
I do promise to keep running at least once/twice a week so I can eat as much chocolate and cream cheese as I want.
I also promise to keep remembering that I am worth it. I'm worth staying in shape and worth staying fit.

I have not given up....only reconized the truth.
That I am not going to run a Marathon this year. Someday.....but not this year. and I'm OK with that!!! really I am.

Maybe the Half Marathon...but whatever. It is not the goal but the Journey to the goal right??

Went for a run tonight. It was nice. I ACTUALLY WANTED TO GO!!! That is a change. I think I am going to HAVE to change to a half Marathon for sure.

I know come the time I'll be dissapointed but who am I kidding at this point. I'll be lucky to finish that! To be completely honest I don't really care. I will complete a marathon someday...just not this year so I'm not all that upset. I just don't feel like running much right now. perhaps I'll have to think about scheduling a run where I train in the cooler weather.
Trying to find the motivation to run in the heat is just painful and not working.
So whatever....on to something else.

I actually feel worse for my 4 readers. I'm sorry I'm letting you down. I'm not as inspiring as I was a year ago. Sorry about that.

Another Time...

Update: After giving up training for the Marathon I decided to strengthen my body and try to have a fourth child. Audrey was born in 2009 ;)

I have officially been sidelined with a knee injury and I don't feel like I can continue. Maybe again some day but right now no.

How many days? Really?

82 Days left until the Marathon eh?
huh.
Well then.
I guess I should be running more than once a week.

Not sure why I've completely lost the motivation or care to run. Is it the heat? I don't know.
All I know is that every time I check out the Hartford Marathon page I drool at the excitement. It looks beautiful and I know...KNOW I am going to kick myself in the butt for now training.

BUT...I have not given up yet. I AM considering switching to the half. That may a LITTLE bit more feasible to run on little training.

Oh who am I kidding.

I'm back from a week at summer camp. No running for me yet again but a ton of walking and hill climbing. I'll get back out this week.
My husband also surprised me with a cute pink knee strap.
I've got the gear that is for sure!

I also just received my copy of Augusts Runner's World and saw that my letter to the editor was published!!

Yay me!

They sent me a T-shirt.

Back on my Feet

With 93 days to the marathon, I put on my cute running skirt my hubby bought me (off Ebay of course) and heading for a 10km run.
I have to say that it felt alright.
I went nice and slow and enjoyed myself.
My crazy bleeding has almost stopped and I refuse to dwell on the idea that it may or may not have been a pregnancy.
I just want to move on, and tonight I was able to.

Although I don't think my goal of a 4hr marathon is reachable at this point due to my complete lack of training....I AM still going to run the thing. I AM going to accomplish my goal. In fact...I look forward to it again.

Probably a good thing since the race is only 3 months away!!!

Update

So apparently there are people/family that read this blog.
So...here is the update on yesterdays post

Still bleeding very very heavily...went to the hospital on advice of my family doc.

No Baby....probably some crazy hormone disruption.

I guess that happens when you have polycystic ovaries as I do, even though in my 16 years of having my periods it has never happened.

Whatever.

At least I know I'm still fertile...kind of.

Does not make it any less emotional.

NOT A POST FOR MEN.

I knew something was up with me. The last three weeks have been crazy!! Crazy for moods, and all that stuff. Part of me thought it was all due to the long time off running. The other part of me was convinced I was pregos.
The cheap dollar store prego test squashed that idea.....BUT...
Today I woke up, walk over to pick Peyton up and found myself standing in a pool of blood.

Ahh....I get it. I think I really WAS pregnant.

So much for that.

No I'm not o.k right now...I'll be back later

Painful Run

O.K I am done being grumpy.
I took Lara to her horse riding lessons yesterday and decided to head out for a run while waiting for her.
It was interesting.
3 weeks off was certainly noticeable and not without interesting changes....painfly, sluggish ones.

A million things went through my mind, but all in all it was a good run. A good 8km run.

HOWEVER.... my KNEE hurts today.

So..seriously...what do I do? Do I push through it, and be in pain for the next 3 months knowing I'm going to most likely damage my knee?

I think I'm going to just continue running and see what happens. If I can't do it, I can't do it.

Rut...not Run

100 Days until the Marathon. Really eh?
Huh.
I guess I should go for a run.
You think?
I really don't want to.
I have to admit that I just don't care too.
Shoot.
What am I going to do?
Hubby surprised me with a running skirt, and I look so cute in it.
Nope...doesn't motivate me to run.
Uh Oh.