I manage a country homestead and the lives of my 4 babies ages 10,8,5 and 3. I LOVE TO RUN and NEED to keep healthy and fit for my SANITY!! Seriously....All problems are solved when I am running.

Making MY health a priority allows me to be the mother and wife that I need to be for them.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

No More LiveStrong

I discovered something about myself last week. Focusing,monitoring and writing down everything I eat is NOT A GOOD IDEA for me.

You see focusing on food made me well, focus on food. Not a good idea for a recovering binge eater. It would be the same if I were a recovering drug addict (ahem) and EVERY DAY I crossed off the calendar if I did not indulge. Focusing on something just makes me want it more....Sigh..

SO when I weighed myself last Monday and saw that YET AGAIN I had not lost any weight, and in fact had GAINED TWO POUNDS, life when downhill. Knowing that after ANOTHER WEEK of focusing on my food intake I was no further along it was NOT GOOD.

I can't really emphasize enough how NOT GOOD it was. In fact I would scare you if I wrote it here. Some things are just not meant to share. Anyway.....

Point is that I took the week off. I am no longer monitoring my food intake. and VOILA!!! This Monday I am down in my weight.

I am now 130 pounds and have 10 more pounds to go. I am fitting into a few more of my pants and my comfy maternity pants are starting to look too baggy.

Things are looking up. Thank God for that because I cannot go back there. I CANNOT go back to the head space I was in when I was in my 20's. I just can't do it. Just won't and thanks to years of therapy I don't have to ;)

That's it. That's all. Thanks for listening.


Stacey said...

I can see how this is incredibly frustrating for you, as you try to lead such a healthy life. I hope you can find some balance :) And don't stress! 130 pounds sounds like a dream right now (at 37 1/2 weeks pregnant).

One thing that I have learned is that especially if you are working out, you may not actually lose weight for the first while. When your muscles are worked hard, they swell and can hold onto water, which makes it seem like you aren't losing any weight. Not to mention that I'm sure you know muscle weighs more than fat :)

Hang in there! You CAN do it :)

Kirsten said...

Props. No one "gets it" more than I do, dude. I'm supposed to be doing a food journal right now before I see my sister's naturalopath tomorrow. yeah. No.
Not writing all that down, sorry. I prefer to limit unhealthy food and then just eat however much I want. Works better for me to eat within a group of food, instead of eating measured quantities. Sounds like maybe we're reacting the same. And look- your weight is coming off! Good stuff. Proud of you.